Even though I adore my friends and cherish the relationships I have in my life, I find it really hard, as a soon to be 30 years old, to not compare my friendship group to Friends, Will & Grace, Seinfeld, How I Met Your Mother, Girls etc. Actually Girls is very nuanced and is probably the closest to how complicated actual friendships can be. I still don’t really relate but it’s not as painful as thinking “Why am I not at least a few times week in a coffeeshop with my dearest friends having a chat about life?” Which by the way, is something I definitely did in my 20’s. Nowadays, it’s just not possible. With work, partners, kids sometimes, every day life chores, how would I be able to spend so much time with my friends? What is friendship anyway? Does it have to be super intense, frequent, enlightening every time and forever ever?
I have started to wonder about why my friendships look almost nothing like the representations of friendships I’ve seen or read about. And i’ts fine.
I don’t run into my friends in my neighborhood, I used to but a lot of them have moved.
A few of my best friends don’t live in my town, and some of them don’t even live in my country. Is this a generational issue?
I don’t go to brunch every Sunday with my girlfriends because it’d be a nightmare to organize, our weekends being quite busy.
None of my friends have a key to my flat. I wouldn’t like that anyway actually.
I do have amazing, funny, inspiring friends and I am so thankful because all these relationships mean the world to me. Yet I have started to wonder about why these friendships look almost nothing like the representations of friendships I’ve seen or read about. And i’s fine. The brilliant Haley Nahman wrote a very touching and smart piece on Man Repeller called “Does Everyone Have a Friendship Complex, or Just Me?”
Questioning what friendship is, what it looks like and how to look at it differently. From what friends mean to us when we’re little, to trying to make friends in NYC and the fear of friendlessness, Haley Nahman offers a very interesting, vulnerable, heartwarming reflection on a topic that’s definitely been on my mind lately. If you have to read one thing this week, make it this!
Oh by the way, every Monday, I will share with you an article, a book, a series, a film, a podcast’s episode, a style discovery, anything that has inspired me, hoping it’ll inspire you in return!
Monday Groove On!
Everything that you wrote is the anthem of our age group. Friendships become increasingly complicated. The other piece of this conversation I think about is how challenging it can be to make new friends at this point in our lives. I am not saying it is impossible, but it is not longer (usually) as simple as saying “I like this band, you like this band, let’s exchange numbers” and then a friendship develops.