Monday Highlight: On Friendships

Even though I adore my friends and cherish the relationships I have in my life, I find it really hard, as a soon to be 30 years old, to not compare my friendship group to Friends, Will & Grace, Seinfeld, How I Met Your Mother, Girls etc. Actually Girls is very nuanced and is probably the closest to how complicated actual friendships can be. I still don’t really relate but it’s not as painful as thinking “Why am I not at least a few times week in a coffeeshop with my dearest friends having a chat about life?” Which by the way, is something I definitely did in my 20’s. Nowadays, it’s just not possible. With work, partners, kids sometimes, every day life chores, how would I be able to spend so much time with my friends? What is friendship anyway? Does it have to be super intense, frequent, enlightening every time and forever ever?

I have started to wonder about why my friendships look almost nothing like the representations of friendships I’ve seen or read about. And i’ts fine.

I don’t run into my friends in my neighborhood, I used to but a lot of them have moved.

A few of my best friends don’t live in my town, and some of them don’t even live in my country. Is this a generational issue?

I don’t go to brunch every Sunday with my girlfriends  because it’d be a nightmare to organize, our weekends being quite busy.

None of my friends have a key to my flat. I wouldn’t like that anyway actually.

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I do have amazing, funny, inspiring friends and I am so thankful because all these relationships mean the world to me. Yet I have started to wonder about why these friendships look almost nothing like the representations of friendships I’ve seen or read about. And i’s fine. The brilliant Haley Nahman wrote a very touching and smart piece on Man Repeller called “Does Everyone Have a Friendship Complex, or Just Me?”

Questioning what friendship is, what it looks like and how to look at it differently. From what friends mean to us when we’re little, to trying to make friends in NYC and the fear of friendlessness, Haley Nahman offers a very interesting, vulnerable, heartwarming reflection on a topic that’s definitely been on my mind lately. If you have to read one thing this week, make it this!

Oh by the way, every Monday, I will share with you an article, a book, a series, a film, a podcast’s episode, a style discovery, anything that has inspired me, hoping it’ll inspire you in return!

Monday Groove On!

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Why Should Our Eyelashes Be Dark And Long And Our Body Hair Non-existent?

The other day, I was having my legs waxed, and because I find it boring and painful, I started a conversation with the beautician, and the subject was, as it often is, the tyranny of hairless legs. She said, “that’s very true, men don’t have to go through it. I wonder why, it’s so unfair. But I have to say it looks prettier and certainly feels cleaner when your legs are waxed.” I raised an eyebrow. I think I get to hear this sentence every single time I go to the beautician. No it’s not cleaner and why would we look better without it? Isn’t it the most natural state of the body? Also, why the fuck should we always smile and be pretty?

Now, I’m not blaming my beautician. I’m not blaming anyone really. It just makes me really angry to think that female body hair are so stigmatized. Also, to be contradictory because hey, I’m human, I wax and shave and epilate. All of these. And I hate it. But I do like how it looks. So you won’t find any definitive statement about body hair here, just a reflexion on this very summery subject, that I’m forced to face, only wanting to wear dresses and skirts because of the heatwave we’ve been having.

My mum doesn’t have any body hair really, and is a little bit proud about it, which really did not help when as a teen, I had to use Jolen cream on my mustache to dye it blond.

Today, I read a great article on Man Repeller written by Haley Nahman, the piece is titled, “4 Women on Loving and Growing Their Body Hair“. It’s a brilliant conversation, and definitely made me think, yet again, about how absurd having to shave/wax/epilate all the hair on our bodies is. One of the women being interviewed said something that stuck with me, “Your hair is who you come from, just like your eyes, lips and teeth. I love that. When I think about my bush, I think of bodies in the wilderness; we grow a natural blanket of protection.

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This really added a new perspective on my morning which I’ve spent exfoliating and shaving because I’m going away this weekend. Truth be told, when I read the article and scrolled down to see the pictures of hairy women, I was like ” hum, that’s a bit intense isn’t it? Oh wow, that’s how some women look with hair on their legs“. Because you know what? I’ve only, once in my lifetime, seen a woman sporting hair on her legs. I was in SF for a work trip, and this lady on the bus had a gorgeous dress and super long dark legs hair. Isn’t it crazy that it was the first time I’d seen hair on a woman’s legs?

My mum doesn’t have any body hair really, and is a little bit proud about it, which really did not help when as a teen, I had to use Jolen cream on my mustache to dye it blond. I was so envious of her and so self-conscious about my body hair. Though to be fair, she did tried her best to help me out you know, with dealing with those unwanted hair. I think I first got my legs waxed at 13 because she did not want me to shave, and told me that if I kept on waxing, I’d have way less hair as an adult. Of course, one summer, tired of having to watch my hair grow enough so I could get them waxed, I got my first razor, and the rest is history.

Boys definitely did not help with the body hair and stache situation. I grew up in the 90’s, I don’t think it got better, and have no idea how kids deal with it nowadays. But back in the days, it was very painful, and it has ruined the “already-not-that-high” self confidence I had. I’m actually so thankful for beauty bloggers who speak out about how they get rid of their body hair, and also thankful for this article on Man Repeller. You do you, for sure. I believe it’s brave in a way to let your hair go au naturel. I certainly don’t feel like I could do it anytime soon. Yet this article really made me think about the endless conversations about body hair with my beautician, my sisters, my friends… And after reading it, and reminiscing all the hair removal questions that I had when I was a kid, and all the shaming there is around body hair, I kept thinking : “Why should our eyelashes be dark and long and our body hair non-existent?

On that topic, I’d recommend you read Haley Nahman’s article, and read Man Repeller all together because it’s a super smart website. Nadine Baggott and Emma Guns did a good video about hair removal if you feel like you need advice in that department, oh and this conversation on, you guessed it, Man Repeller, is super interesting as well.

Anyway, no real answers but a lot of questions, thank me later right? I’d love to know what you think about this topic though!

Summer Style, Superga Sneakers and Self-doubt

When I was 20, I lived in London for a year. I absolutely loved it but that’s an other subject. Living there really helped my style, which I guess is no surprise as the Brits are known to have great, daring style. More than that, I can only speak for London but, people seem to simply not care about your appearance and that, is so liberating! Before London, I would wear jeans and boots in the winter, and well… jeans and boots in the summer. It was not comfortable, but I was not confident enough to wear skirts or dresses, let alone sandals. I’ve always prioritized comfort so that was a good excuse. The truth is I did not want to expose myself, I did not like myself enough to give it a try. I did eventually bought a dress because fashion was just too good that summer, and I decided to wear it one day to the park in Clapham. Now, because nobody really looks at you in London, I truly remember that day : I felt amazing and more importantly a tiny bit more free. But guess what? With the dress I wore boots.

Then, after I’d left London, sneakers were everywhere. You’d see girls wearing them on an every day basis on fashion websites and Instagram. To me, it was a little revolution. “Wearing sneakers on a Friday to go out for drinks, with a pair of jeans, and looking chic? Deal!” Quickly enough, this trend came to stores, and to the streets of London, Paris, etc.

When I wear my Superga, I kind of believe I could potentially look like a tennis player, which I’m definitely not, but I like the idea you know?

The next summer, after having spend a year back in France, I came back to London. On a shopping spree with my friends, I came across the Superga Store on Carnaby Street. It’s possible that I’d seen these before, either on Alexa Chung, or on the brilliant Man Repeller website. Anyway, got in, tried them on, bought them, never looked back.

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I love them (the style is 2750 Cotu) because they’re extremely simple, which basically instantly makes me think Chic. Also, when I wear my Superga I kind of believe I could potentially look like a tennis player, which I’m definitely not, but I like the idea you know? These sneakers go with absolutely everything. I have them in white, and beige which sums me up… I’m not really daring with my style, and I’ve come to terms with it. And to be honest, it was daring enough for me at the time to wear sneakers with a dress so that’s that.

I would not say they last forever, mine stay in shape approximately 2 to 3 summers, but it’s good enough I think, considering I wear them 5 to 6 months straight, from May to September. The main difference to me is, since I’ve been wearing them, I feel like I’m playing the summer game. With boots on, I’d get annoying questions all the time “aren’t you hot? Why would you wear these in summer? Don’t you have sandals?” Now, I do own sandals, but I’m sorry to say, they’re not that comfortable! Whereas these sneakers are light enough I’m not boiling, basic (in the best possible way) enough it suits my style, and comfortable enough I can walk miles in them. Win!

Like I said before, I find Spring/Summer season is tricky style wise. When thinking about this subject I realized how, buying these Superga one summer in London has actually, completely, changed the way I envision summer clothes. Something in me clicked, and since then, every summer I free myself a bit more. On that note, next week there will be a post about a clothing item I used to hate and now feel wonderful in! Summer style is an endless conversation, don’t you think?